Keep your hands to yourself.
Groping, grabbing, and smacking can be really fun when consensual. Groping, grabbing, and smacking are molestation when not consensual.
Molestation is not only illegal, it is wrong.
I don’t know what is wrong with people who think it is acceptable behavior to grab someone’s ass when they walk by. It is completely wrong to grab, grope, or smack someone without permission. For goodness sake, learn to control yourself.
Like the rest of the chapters in Good Man Guide Book, this chapter is written because some people don’t seem to know any better. These folks seem to think the completely invasive act of groping people is ok, and it is not!
Maybe you convince yourself it’s ok because you are friends with the person. It’s not ok unless you ask. Just because someone doesn’t tell you to stop, does not mean it’s ok.
I am a very touchy feely person. I am a physically fit performer who usual wears fairly revealing clothes when out at a night club, festival, or party. I also generally despise when someone walks up and grab my dick. It is incredibly invasive and totally not ok. I usually don’t say something but, it bothers me almost every time. 99% of the time, the offender is a so-called straight male.
If I am attracted to someone new, one of the best ways to ruin their chance with me is to grope me out of the blue. If I am not attracted to someone and they ask to touch me, I may say yes anyway. The act of asking puts me in control of the situation and gives me the chance to prepare for the space invasion.
Imagine the creepiest guy conceivable touching you in the most uncomfortable way imaginable. Imagine how you feel while Gollum licks your ear, caresses your inner thigh and forces his cold, clammy, rough, sharp hand in your asshole or down your throat, or both. Now imagine how fucking gross you feel while being molested against your will by some creepy disgusting troll. Next time you grab some ladies ass when she walks by, remember you are that creepy disgusting troll. Imagine the horrible feeling of being molested by a troll and realize that is exactly what you are doing! Every time you grope a ladies tit, ass or thigh… Each time you grab some guy’s dick, balls or ass… You are that disgusting rape-y troll.
It is very common especially among women to not speak up when something bothers them. If you grope someone and they don’t say anything, assume they are dying inside, feeling molested, and quietly hating you. If you feel moved to touch someone beyond a handshake, ask. Then you know if it’s ok.
If you are under the influence of alcohol, ecstasy, molly, ketamine, ghb, or any other substance; your decision making abilities are impaired and you are still responsible for your actions. You may feel like someone is into it because the vibe feels so right, but you are high and possible totally misreading the situation.
I touch beautiful bodies all the time. I have a very simple method that works really well. I ask. I say something like, “Your ass looks amazing. May I feel it?” or “Your breasts are magnificent. I would love to motorboat you.” I tend to ease in to the conversation. Here is an example:
Me- “You look amazing in that outfit”
Her- “Thank you”
Me- “Holy shit, your ass is incredible!”
Her- (blushing) “Thank you. I get it from my mother”
Me- “Well kudos to your mother. God bless her. Do you like being spanked?”
Me- I love to spank. May I please have the honor of spanking your magnificent hiney?”
Her- (turning around and bending over) “Sure”
After spanking her, I thank her for allowing me to do so.
By asking her permission, I make it clear that she has a choice. If she politely declines or ignores the question, keep your hands to yourself.
Each of us bears the responsibility to treat each other with respect. The subject in this chapter has been brought up by many people on many occasions. The offenders are often respected individuals, even someone who the offended person actually likes. Please be respectful of other people’s personal bodies. Do your best to not be a Total Douchebag.